Xperience Connections® blogs are written to support businesswomen by encouraging and facilitating their personal and professional growth, motivation and business knowledge.

Change Your Thinking – Change Your World

October 26, 2011 Commitment, Habits

It certainly is easy to complain. And usually there is plenty to complain about. Sometimes complaining can produce a different outcome. Not often. It has been my experience that finding fault with just about anything is quite common behavior; mastering the art of accepting unpleasant circumstances and the people responsible for them is not.

The operative word here is control. How freeing we’d all feel if we could control situations, orchestrate what happens and modify other people’s performance to be more acceptable to us. In the real world this is an illusion. Everyone deals with their lives in ways that best serve them. It’s ridiculous to think otherwise. So, what is the answer? The answer is change? Yes,  change. The key, however, is not changing what is around us, but rather, changing what is within us. When we change our thinking by observing situations from a different perspective, we can change our behaviors and become better prepared to deal with the reality of life as it presents itself. We can actually choose to free ourselves from getting “caught up in” what might otherwise annoy us.

Do you know people who seem “rattled” about everything? Do you know others who seem even tempered and exhibit little or no stress? What’s the difference? How two people each handle similar circumstances is a function of how they each think. If you don’t like the way you behave in certain situations, you can change your thinking and your behavior when facing them as they re-occur. When you consciously and consistently do this, your world will change. It’s worth the effort.

I am an on-time person. One of biggest frustrations is appointments that run late. Being punctual has it’s drawbacks. Most people are not as conscientious about time so I’m generally kept waiting. It used to drive me crazy. By the time the person I expected arrived or the appointment for which I was waiting opened, I’d be fuming. Not only did this interfere with our communication, but it was also difficult to let go of the stress. Realizing I can’t control another person’s punctuality, I began to change my behavior and perspective. Now, I anticipate someone being late and plan ahead. I might read, write a letter, make some phone calls or anything else I can do to productively use the time. Choosing to be productive is significantly better than changing a behavior over which I have no control. When I changed, how I viewed my world changed as well.

I encourage you to look differently at those predictably annoying circumstances you face regularly. It may be the way you handle traffic, supermarket lines, being placed on hold, or anything else that frustrates you.

By making changes in both your thinking and behavior, you will find your world more to your liking. I can’t guarantee immediate success, however, I can assure you that choosing to change your behavior is a lot healthier than fighting against behavior over which you have no control. The only thing you have to lose is……….STRESS!

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