How Are You Showing Up?

by Bonnie Ross-Parker
February 14, 2011 Networking

“You can get everything in life you want if you will just help enough other people get what they want.” ~ Zig Ziglar

Networking is about making connections, building relationships and most importantly, creating partnerships. Networking is about serving others. One of the Universal laws is that you must be willing to give what you want, first. Networking is about giving of yourself, your wisdom, ideas, energy, enthusiasm, contacts, and support. Somewhere along the line people got the idea that networking was about getting, about exchanging as many business cards possible in the least amount of time and selling everyone you meet. Not true, and not appealing.

I remember attending an event not too long ago where a woman thrust her card into my hand and then proceeded to give me her entire sales pitch without even the courtesy of introducing herself. When she finished, she just stood there and looked at me. Apparently, I was supposed to whip out my checkbook. I found that scenario rather off-putting. The woman hadn’t introduced herself, hadn’t asked if I had any interest what so ever in her goods, and hadn’t asked if I would like to have her card. That’s just plain bad manners. In a different scenario, a scenario where she introduced herself to me, took some interest in me and then upon invitation told me what business she was in, I might have been inclined to think about who I know that might be interested in what she had to offer, even though I, myself, was not her ideal client.

At another event I noticed a woman standing against the wall by her lonesome and took the initiative to introduce myself. I asked her a couple of questions to draw her out and she told me how badly life has treated her, in detail, over the last decade. Being who I am, I tried to help her find a different perspective, a perspective that might help her get out of her rut and move forward. Every idea I offered was met with more negativity. I tried to find some common ground, and then moved on. Few people are attracted to that kind of energy. Those that are will usually compound it with their own negativity until a nice big black cloud is created in one corner of the room. Guess where everyone else will be? That’s right, as far away as possible. We all have our days I know, but trying to network on one is a bad idea.

There are some basics to keep in mind when planning to get out there and mingle. Just about anywhere you go is a networking event when you realize it is about getting to know people. You want to look great. Choose appropriate attire that you feel fabulous in. Have your business cards in a handy pocket on your person or an outer pocket of your bag, so that you don’t have to take everything out of your bag to find one. If you have brochures, have a few with you for the people you really connect with.

Turn off your phone! Why bother showing up if you are going to talk to someone you already know all evening. Bring good energy; peaceful, warm confidence in yourself. Listen to uplifting music or a motivational CD on the way to the event, get centered and present your best self. Have a mint. Enough said.

Choose to introduce yourself to someone who attracts you. Always tune in to your inner knowing and trust it to guide you to the people you want to meet. Introduce yourself with a warm handshake and an even warmer smile. Strike up a conversation using open ended questions. Open ended questions cannot be answered with a yes or no. Open ended questions generally start with a how, why, what, when, or where. Listen with genuine interest. Be present. When it’s your turn, be prepared to tell people what you do or what you are looking for in a sentence or two. What you do for people should be clear from your description. If they ask for more information be ready to share. Talk about who you like to do business with, why and what you do for them. Relay your passion and enthusiasm. Don’t try to sell the person, unless you are given an invitation to do so. Ask for their card and offer yours when you would like to know more about them, keep in touch or provide them with more information.

Connections take some time and effort. If you make one great connection at an event, you have done very well indeed. The best attitude to have when attending an event is one of curiosity, authenticity, and service. You want to get to know people. You want to get to know the people that attract you, the people that you have some synergy with, the people that you can create something with. The best connection is when you find a partner, someone whose energy and passions match yours. A partnership develops when you realize you can create something together.

I recently met a woman with whom I really clicked. We have a great deal in common, great energy and we bring a slightly different perspective to each other because of where we are in our lives. We are creating a partnership that I see culminating in a conference or retreat that celebrates women as they take on the journey and power of peri and post menopause. I’m excited.

It actually only takes making one great connection to open all sorts of new doors and possibilities. You’ll know it when you find it. Meanwhile have fun, bring your best self to every event and remember that what you give will always come back to you full circle. Below is a quick checklist to review before an event. Happy networking.

Networking Checklist

Are you dressed in appropriate attire, an outfit that you feel wonderful in?
Do you have your business card handy and maybe a few brochures?
Have you turned off your phone?
Have you brought good, positive energy, a warm smile and fresh breath?
Do you have a confident handshake, not crushing and not limp?
Are you ready to introduce yourself and begin a conversation?
Do you have a few open ended questions in mind?
Can you precisely and succinctly tell people what you do with enthusiasm?
Are you prepared to be genuinely curious about people and take the time to get to know them?
Are you prepared to be of service, to share yourself generously, and authentically?
Are you prepared to give what you hope to receive?
Be sure to follow up within 3 days with any new contacts and build that relationship.