Complain? Why Bother? No One’s Listening!

by Bonnie Ross-Parker
December 7, 2011 Personal Growth

It’s so easy to find negative people. They are everywhere. We all know people in our personal lives, at work, or meet casually who, perhaps for lack of anything better to do, complain. Weather and taxes are the most obvious. Then there’s traffic, employee inefficiency, relatives, co-workers, neighbors, companies, health issues, and dry cleaners. The list goes on and on. There are people I know and do my best to avoid them. Do any of us want to spend our time with complaining, negative and disgruntled individuals? I don’t think so.

The question to ask ourselves is do we sometimes act like the very people we do our best to avoid? I, too, find it hard not to complain! Have you ever been placed on hold for a long period of time? Finally you hear a live voice, who transfers you to the person who can finally handle your concern, and you get disconnected. Or, just when you think someone’s going to get your issue resolved their computers are down? Or maybe your computer gives you reason to complain.

When you get asked, “How are you?”, do you really think the person asking wants to hear anything other than “Fine.” For some unknown reason this is the usual opening line between two people on the phone or in person. No one expects (or wants) to hear the details of your two weeks in bed with the flu, your dental problems or anything else health related for that matter! All of us have experienced vacations that got ruined, problems at work, friends who didn’t live up to their commitments, neighbors with unruly pets, family members who disappoint us, etc. That’s life.

Knowing that complaining usually serves no purpose, why do we do it? My two biggest reasons are for sympathy and connection. By comparing notes with others who have had similar experiences, I believe I’m being listened to. The problem is complaining and comparing are not results oriented. You only feel better for the moment A past issue is history and an unresolved issue remains just that. When we expend our energy in productive, meaningful endeavors and communication, we remain positive. People prefer being with positive people. So let the complainers complain. Choose to not be one of them! Besides, who’s listening anyway except another complainer?

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