Compliments – Accept Them and Offer Them
Everyone loves being complimented, even if the praise evokes embarrassment or self -consciousness. Who can resist being told you’ve done a super job on a project, the meal you prepared was delicious, you’re wearing a beautiful outfit, your kids are terrific, or you played a great round of golf? What happens when you receive a compliment? Are you gracious and express your gratitude? Or, do you immediately dismiss the giver by pointing out that the job was easy, dinner was pre-packaged, your outfit is “a hundred years old”, the kids were told behave or else, or today’s game was a stoke of luck? I wonder why we dismiss the very thing we love to hear!
I used to brush off compliments. I’d offer reasons why I wasn’t deserving of them. Sometimes, I’d think someone was just being nice to me. I actually believed by my accepting a compliment without diminishing it, I might come across conceited. Then a friend taught me valuable lesson, which is opposite of what you might be thinking! When you thank someone for a compliment, you are actually honoring them. Your appreciation re-enforces their opinion. When you disregard or dismiss a compliment, the message you’re delivering actually disrespects the sender and their opinion. The bottom line to any compliment is to be gracious to the giver by thanking them and kind to yourself by accepting it gracefully. There are no exceptions!
If, as the saying goes, “It’s better to give than receive”, then think of the joy you feel when offering a compliment to someone else. Your effort is small and the reward to the recipient is huge. Just look at someone’s face when you tell them you like their outfit, you admire their work, you appreciate their help, or you would like their advice. Some people will dismiss the compliment by offering an explanation. Sound familiar? Others will accept your comment and simply say, “Thank you”. Whatever someone’s response happens to be, don’t let that deter you from persevering. Compliment the clerk at the cleaners, the check out person at the grocery store, the mailman, the person who un-jams the paper in the copy machine, the garage attendant, or anyone else who deserves your recognition. Paying someone a compliment feels good for both sides. Make giving compliments a habit. After a while, you’ll smile when a compliment comes your way and accept it in the full spirit in which it was offered.
